Reply To: What distracts you the most?
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Bob, do you remember when the Internet was first made available for public use? It was the early 1990s.
I don’t recall when email became part of the mix, but I do remember the buzz that came with it.
A movie (I didn’t see it) was also made about it.
It was called You’ve Got Mail.
Why do you suppose that that title resonated with so many people?
Why would people be so excited that they got a message way back then?
It’s because it was evidence that someone “loved” them. (Tongue firmly planted in cheek.)
Now the thing is that that’s also true today.
The incessant desire to check your email reveals a need to see if you’re “loved.”
Why do I say that?
It’s because of the feeling that I’m pretty sure you experience when you don’t get anything.
You feel ignored.
And being ignored is the opposite of love.
So, what you have to do is separate those feelings. You have to teach yourself that the fact whether there is or isn’t another message has nothing to do with whether you’re loved or ignored.
You have to tell yourself that email is nothing more than a form of communication.
When someone has something to say to you, they will; but you have to teach yourself that when they don’t, that it’s not personal.
Another way to look at this is to think about how often you hear from close friends and relatives who don’t live with, or even near, you.
Does the fact that they’re not communicating with you every day mean that they don’t care about you?
No. It doesn’t.
They have their own lives and responsibilities.
And that’s how you have to look at your inbox.
People will email you when they need to.
I hope that this comment has been helpful to you. 🙂
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy