What distracts you the most?
This topic contains 18 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by 
Bruce Hoag 6 years, 5 months ago.
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Topic
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We all get distracted.
If we didn’t, we’d be experiencing the roaring success that we all believe we’re capable of.
What one thing distracts you the most?
What one thing are you consistently drawn to when you know that you ought to be working on your business?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy
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Replies
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Email, which presents the shiny objects, shiny objects, excessive training tutorials and, oh, did I mention email?
I’m doing better about getting a grip on these things, but I still have a way to go.
That’s part of the reason why I’m here.
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Bob, do you remember when the Internet was first made available for public use? It was the early 1990s.
I don’t recall when email became part of the mix, but I do remember the buzz that came with it.
A movie (I didn’t see it) was also made about it.
It was called You’ve Got Mail.
Why do you suppose that that title resonated with so many people?
Why would people be so excited that they got a message way back then?
It’s because it was evidence that someone “loved” them. (Tongue firmly planted in cheek.)
Now the thing is that that’s also true today.
The incessant desire to check your email reveals a need to see if you’re “loved.”
Why do I say that?
It’s because of the feeling that I’m pretty sure you experience when you don’t get anything.
You feel ignored.
And being ignored is the opposite of love.
So, what you have to do is separate those feelings. You have to teach yourself that the fact whether there is or isn’t another message has nothing to do with whether you’re loved or ignored.
You have to tell yourself that email is nothing more than a form of communication.
When someone has something to say to you, they will; but you have to teach yourself that when they don’t, that it’s not personal.
Another way to look at this is to think about how often you hear from close friends and relatives who don’t live with, or even near, you.
Does the fact that they’re not communicating with you every day mean that they don’t care about you?
No. It doesn’t.
They have their own lives and responsibilities.
And that’s how you have to look at your inbox.
People will email you when they need to.
I hope that this comment has been helpful to you. 🙂
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy1 user thanked author for this post.
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Hi Bruce and thanks for asking this question.
After a bit of thought, I think the thing that distracts me the most is fear.
Fear of not learning something that was just within reach moments earlier.
Fear of not knowing the answer to the next question I have.
Or the question someone else has for me.
Things like email, messenger, social media, etc…, are just the tools we use to facilitate the distraction, but I’m a firm believer the distraction itself is rooted much deeper in ourselves.
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That’s an understandable fear, Roger.
Thing is that you’re going to have to get used to it. LOL
You can’t know everything, for a start.
There’s something else, too.
I don’t know what causes it; only that it occurs.
If you just do what you know you need to do, then magically what you need to do next will become clear to you about the same time as you need to do it.
So instead of wondering what the answer is to the next question, implement the answers that you do have.
As you do that, you’ll begin to understand a bigger picture of what’s going on and will be able to see more clearly what you should do next.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Mostly email, but sometimes also some very good YouTube video or blog post…
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Hi Dejan,
Nice to have you with us.
Ask yourself this question: Based on the emails that I’ve received in the past 30 days, what’t the worst thing that could happen if I didn’t check my email until after supper?
Same thing for a YouTube video or a blog post.
Then ask yourself this: What is the one thing I could accomplish today if I worked on it and nothing else?
You have to see the problem for what it is.
The thing is that you’re getting a hit, a buzz, a reward by avoiding your work.
And somehow you have to feel intense pain instead.
Spend some time thinking about what you’ve deprived yourself of because you chose to be entertained instead of working.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I think the thing that distracts me the most is how much should I have in the first launch of a product (ie am I giving enough, does it need more etc) so then I start wasting time checking out competitor to see, but I am trying to trust my research and then my gut to just put it out 🙂
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I think the thing that distracts me the most is how much should I have in the first launch of a product (ie am I giving enough, does it need more etc) so then I start wasting time checking out competitor to see, but I am trying to trust my research and then my gut to just put it out 🙂
Tina
just get it out there!
here’s my philosophy: the training should teach exactly what’s needed . . no more, no less.
If you teach 2x as much just to compete . . but then it’s too much for the client, do you or the client win?
Sean
Do you want to learn how to start a coaching program that stabilizes your income and changes lives? If so, visit http://www.AnyoneCanCoach.com
Sean
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Thanks that is my goal for now 🙂
All things Digital
For Training https://www.onlinenowtraining.com/
For Services https://digitalmia.com/
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Bruce,
You’re absolutely correct about the need to feel “loved” and validated. That’s a great point and absolutely true.
I think another part of it is the desire to see what the next great offer is to hit my inbox. What I’ve learned is that it’s something that merely keeps me from moving forward. It’s an excuse to not take action.
I’m proud to say it’s something I’ve gotten much better at.
Thanks for your response.
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As the saying goes, Bob. Curiosity killed the cat.
Unsubscribe from ALL of that stuff.
It doesn’t matter what the next great offer is if you’re not implementing what you know already.
Let me ask you something.
How much time do you spend increasing your bottom line compared to evaluating BSO offers?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy
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Sometimes just understanding “why” like Bruce breaks it down . . makes it easier to just implement!
Sean
Do you want to learn how to start a coaching program that stabilizes your income and changes lives? If so, visit http://www.AnyoneCanCoach.com
Sean
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My biggest distraction is my new 7 month old daughter, every time she makes a sound, I pick her up and play with her well into the limited time I have to work on my business.
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Malik, that’s a trickier problem.
It could be that what you need to do is get a baby-sitter, and then go to a quiet place in the house to work.
Tell the sitter than unless it’s an emergency, you’re not to be disturbed.
If there is no quiet place in the house, then maybe you need to go somewhere that is.
But those constant interruptions will stop you from making progress.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy
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Not any single thing – sometimes emails or notifications, but when focusing those are not a problem; sometimes simply my mind wandering to another “must get to that” to another idea for something I’m also working on. I’d say not focusing hard enough on what I’m doing is what I need to concentrate on. When I do focus, I ignore the other stuff and don’t want to stop. Just got to do that more often or in a more planned way.
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Couple things, Dana.
First, when you think of something, make a note and put it in your note-box where you keep all your ideas and things that you know you have to get to.
Then get back to the task at hand.
When you finish it, then look into your note-box and decide what the next thing is that you should work on; that is, if you don’t know.
Second thing – I ask this a lot: When was the last time you had a vacation of 9 days or more.
A vacation means no business email, no business phone calls, no business networking, no business commenting. Nothing.
Just vacation.
You see, when you find it difficult to concentrate, sometimes that’s an indication that you just need to recharge your batteries.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy-
Good suggestion to simply make notes when those mind intrusions occur. Thinking about what you said, I realized I do that when in the middle of (timed) fact-checking work for a client, or on newsletter deadline – because I have no other choice! Will have to make more of an effort to do that on important but non-deadline project time.
Last vacation? Let’s see – probably May 2010 when I visited my grandfather’s birthplace in Belgium when my daughter and son-in-law were stationed nearby. But I did have my laptop and checked in for any membership needs each evening. It’s my stubborn Dutch work ethic DNA 🙂
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In the day job, I work at a company that’s owned by three Dutchman.
They’ve taken more time off that you have. LOL
Think about taking a proper vacation.
I know that Sean will back me on this.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy
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