Self-Doubt
This topic contains 21 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by 
Scott Hogue 7 years, 1 month ago.
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Topic
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Some of you have said that you experience self-doubt.
What specifically do you have doubts about?
In what do you lack confidence?
And what feelings do you experience?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy
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Replies
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Bruce,
I must admit I sometimes look at successful online business people, and it seems such a distant prospect to get to be anywhere close to what they have achieved. A pipe dream if you would.
It’s not envy, but it’s partly self shame that I have not done a lot more over the last few years. Now with far more years of life behind me than ahead, I also feel it is becoming a race against time. Consequently I tend to place massive, almost unbearable, levels of mental pressure upon myself which then leads to procrastination and inertia.
A vicious circle I must break out of I know. I must take things one step at a time, although I must still aim high. But, in the end, if I don’t quite reach the most dizzy heights of success, at least I might have created enough passive income to provide worry free, financial freedom for myself and my wife.
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Bruce, now you’re talking like a psychologist! 🙂
I am always nervous about releasing a new product. Will people buy? Will people promote it?
I create a great product and then hesitate to build the sales page and get it out there.
Of course, I know better, and teach better, but sometimes the self doubt lingers.
Some of this comes from being a perfectionist. I’m one of those people who spends 80% of the time working on the final 20% of the project to try to get it perfect. I have made a lot of progress though. It’s okay to be satisfied with good enough.
Norma Esler
Norma Esler
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So here’s a thought . . what if it just doesn’t matter?
What if you don’t worry if it works or not . . .just write the sales letter.
If it doesn’t sell, it’s one more product in your arsenal once you DO start getting buyers . . .
It’s like if there’s doubt . . . just do it anyway cause the worst that can happen is if you don’t do anything, you lose . . but if you do something and it doesn’t work out . . you lose . .
but which is a better loss?
to do nothing and lose?
or to do something and lose?
Sean
Do you want to learn how to start a coaching program that stabilizes your income and changes lives? If so, visit http://www.AnyoneCanCoach.com
Sean
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Very good point, Sean.
Let me let you in on a little secret, Norma.
It took me five years of pretty close to full-time to write a book.
Now part of the reason was because I had to create a management history that didn’t exist, but in retrospect I can tell you that I spent a lot of time perfecting the grammar of every sentence and choosing every single word very carefully.
Maybe I could have shaved a year off by recognizing that good enough was good enough. 😉
I’ve had to wean myself away from those tendencies.
And Les – stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
Since you know that it makes you more likely to procrastinate, doesn’t it make sense to take your foot off the gas so you don’t swerve so much? LOL
We creative types will ALWAYS have some self-doubt.
Now that you know that, you can accept it and get to work.
Thoughts?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy1 user thanked author for this post.
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Hi Bruce, Norma and Sean,
Norma: Some interesting self analysis. But you are getting there from what you say. Keep it up. We are all behind you.
Bruce: You are exactly right, of course, I have to be easier on myself, convert that negative energy into positive drive, and continually move forward toward my goals regardless.
Sean: You are very sensible, as usual:) Bringing us all back down to earth with a huge, but logical bump. Interestingly enough the teleseminar, you held earlier today, provided me with an excellent alternative to taking on the big beasts head on, and in any niche. And that is to go deeper than the established experts are prepared to go, and further into what the prospect really needs to ease their pain, or solve their problem.
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Les, you “convert negative energy into positive drive” by changing your focus.
To extend the application of the car metaphor, it sounds like you want to go from full-on the gas to full-on the brakes.
All I’m saying is that you need to slow down a bit so you can see which way to go. Then make your turn and proceed a little slower.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Norma-
I have the same ‘personality’ issue with perfectionism that you discussed. It is great to see that I’m not the only one in the Community with that issue. While I think it is good to be a detail person, having to have things just right before we put them out there causes all sorts of issues…as you know. So to combat that recently, I have printed out something and taped it to my computer monitor. It says ‘Sloppy success is better than perfect mediocrity’. Hope that strikes a cord. Let’s just get it out there and THEN tweak it (like Sean teaches).If you're looking for a someone to bounce things off of in the IM world, I'm your guy and I really would love to help you out. Helping others is just who I am!
To Change Your Life Forever check out me out at http://IM-Specialist.com
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Wow i thought I was the only one who struggled with perfectionism. I am just like that never thinking that what I’m doing is good enough. However I have another fear and that is that my product/service may be too future oriented. For example when I created my membership program I searched the internet for programs/memberships that were similar to mine and i did not find anything even close. Now on one hand I say wow that’s great because I’m the only one doing something like this so I’m innovative but on the other hand innovate ideas tend to fail more often than not because people do not like or understand change. So I feel like maybe this idea won’t work out.
It leads to me not taking any action at all and then of course there is the fact that not everyone is going to like your product or service which will lead me to thanking that everyone hates it and that what I thought was great is actually garbage.
It’s just so confusing and depressing sometimes i just want to throw in the towel and forget about this business thing all together.
Sometimes i think i’m just not meant to be an entrepreneur and that I should just stick to a miserable 9-5 job at least it’s a bit easier. -
Funny thing about entrepreneurialism, Remcy.
Even though you may change your mind about what to do, there’s something inside of you that won’t let you “throw in the towel” altogether.
The idea of doing so feels worse than trying to figure out how to make it work.
One thing you may want to think about is why no one has a program like yours on the Internet.
That may not be the easiest thing to figure out, but you could start by analyzing what is available to see what they have in common and what the differences are.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Self doubt is a feeling that arises from a thought. When you notice what that thought is, you can change it, even if the circumstances don’t change.
What I am doing isn’t good enough is a thought. If you examine the situation and your thought is really true, make your offering better. If this thought is false, change it to what is true, maybe something like: “My work serves my tribe perfectly.”
When you become skillful at this you are free!
The more entrepreneurs I meet, the more I realize that doubts arise as we move from one level of success to the next higher one. Taken in this context it is actually a sign that you are evolving and growing, rather than a reason to stop.
Kristin van Tilburg
Stressed out? Overwhelmed?
Visit my website to receive a free 5 day email mini-class in dealing with overwhelm!
www.StrategicSuccessMindset.com2 users thanked author for this post.
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Well said, Kristin!
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Good enough can be great if it helps the right person at the right time.
Thank you everyone for such great insight!
Norma Esler
Sign up for a daily dose of Inspiration at normaesler.com.
Inspiration for Your Best Year Ever! -
It’s all relative.
Perfectionists are never satisfied.
They also accomplish far less than those who aren’t.
Ironic, don’t you think?
You all use a computer.
Do you know how the Windows operating system was developed?
As I understand it, Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer persuaded somebody that they could solve a particular problem.
Now get this: They wrote the code on the plane as they were flying to the meeting.
What if they would have said, “Well. It’s not perfect, so I guess we can’t make the meeting.”
Maybe you use a Mac.
What if Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniack decided that they couldn’t launch their first computer because the software wasn’t perfect?
Now apply that to what you’re working on.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy2 users thanked author for this post.
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Thanks Norma for highlighting this issue, I think that sometime working by yourself you think that you are the only one with these issues.
Hey Bruce, love the story of Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer you are so right! They did not let self doubt creep in and use ‘it’s not perfect’ as an excuse. I have taken the three lines and have it on my screen for when I start self doubting and jump into perfectionist mode 🙂
I made the info you said about Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer up and I have it on my screen to remind me, I just need to stop self doubting and trust that it’s better to get it out there and then improve it, then to not put it out until it’s “perfect”. ThanksHere is your statement as a quick visual 🙂
[attachment file=1671]All things Digital
For Training https://www.onlinenowtraining.com/
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The very start of an online business is finding a problem you can solve for someone else . . .and the story about Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer is an example.
Google – solve the problem of search
Facebook – solve the problem of finding people
Houzz – solve the problem of going to 100 sites to find the one window idea you are looking for.
Uber . . .solved a problemInstapage . . .solved a problem
Mealime . . solved a problem
Weight Watchers . . solved a problemEVERY company that achieves anything significant solves a problem.
Even the coffee shop near your home, solves a problem.
If you aren’t solving a problem . . you don’t have a business.
Sean
Do you want to learn how to start a coaching program that stabilizes your income and changes lives? If so, visit http://www.AnyoneCanCoach.com
Sean
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Absolutely right, Sean.
Now here’s something that most people miss.
I did for a long time.
When we look at other people’s businesses, what we’re seeing are solutions.
That’s why it’s so hard to find a problem to solve.
We’re not looking at problems to begin with.
We’re looking at solutions.
So you have to exercise a kind of reverse thinking.
You have to ask yourself what problem they were trying to solve, and then think about why that was a problem.
For example, Uber provides an on-call taxi service.
Does that means that there weren’t taxis?
Not usually, though where I live you can’t get one at certain times of the day unless you reserve one in advance.
With Uber, you don’t have to do that.
And you’re not trapped in some kind of cartel where all the prices are fixed.
The UK has practically banned Uber; but you’d expect that because it’s a socialist society. Despite all the propaganda about creating an innovative society, this country really doesn’t want one.
The point is that you have to get in the habit of thinking about the problems that other people in your niche solved.
Then you can look at your list of problems and ask yourself what problem remains unsolved.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy3 users thanked author for this post.
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Bruce
you are right, and that’s what I teach.
I taught in on last week’s coaching call.
YOu have to proactively SEARCH AND FIND the problems so that you can solve them.
It’s not easy, or more people would it.
It’s actually very hard work, and you have to dig very deep and usually talk with people personally to find out.
Sean
Do you want to learn how to start a coaching program that stabilizes your income and changes lives? If so, visit http://www.AnyoneCanCoach.com
Sean
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I too suffer from perfectionism. I have products on my hard drive that I have never launched.
I thought that the product had to cover everything. That my product had to have everything for everybody.
Now I go through my product twice and put it out. I let the market sharpen my product.
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Malik, your products will never cover everything, because everything is always changing.
If any or all of them fulfill a need, then put them out there.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy
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Good word, Bruce . .
Malik . . .remember, you can always put the product out there, then add to it if something new comes up
better to change lives with something that’s 90% than to not change them at all 🙂
Sean
Do you want to learn how to start a coaching program that stabilizes your income and changes lives? If so, visit http://www.AnyoneCanCoach.com
Sean
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Self Doubt, I thought I had that, but I am wrong so often….
Here is a thought that helped me. I was worrying and doubting if my new projects would bring in money.
The truth is, I just don’t know. There is no guarantee.
On the other hand, I have worked one on one with enough people I am confident I can help people.
So I just went to work helping people and let the money take care of its self, come or not.best,
Scott Hogue CChH
Follow me in the "Use What You Learn Challenge" as I create a website using what I learn from Sean that is a Platform for my niche:
http://www.threestepstowealth.comThe thread on this group that explains it:
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