Bruce Hoag
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Susan, when was the last time you had an extended holiday?
Not a couple of days with a Bank Holiday thrown in, but 10 days in a row where you didn’t check your email or work on your business?
In your thorough description, I see someone who has lost her way; someone who doesn’t know why what she’s been working on is important anymore.
It could be that you should consider following a different path.
But you need time away from it all to let your mind relax and to clear your thoughts.
Sean has opened up private messaging if you want to contact me.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I’d love to use both in this forum, Sean.
Any ideas about how the signature ought to look?
I don’t want to appear to be a jack-of-all-trades trying to cobble together a bit of this and a bit of that. 😉
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
We all feel that isolation, James.
Funny thing is that we need probably more of it than others in order to do our work.
It’s hard to concentrate when there’s a lot of noise around.
That said, when we’re finished for the day, we want to get out and see people.
So I think one way to mitigate the isolation is to have a plan for spending time with people, especially during the day.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Looking forward to receiving your inspirational quotes, Norma.
There’s so much negativity in the world, and for good reason; but if you don’t control the amount of it that gets into your mind, then it will have a negative effect on you.
I once met a millionaire who stopped watching the news altogether for something like seven years. (This was back in the 1980s.)
I haven’t had a TV for about 4-1/2 years. When I’m bored, tired, or both, I watch YouTube. No ads, and a better selection. LOL
And I’ve really gotten to the point where I don’t even check the news online.
As Neil Postman in his book, Amusing Ourselves to Death, has said: It’s all just another form of entertainment.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy1 user thanked author for this post.
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One of the recurring themes is that you can’t build a business on someone else’s platform.
That’s because you don’t control the rules.
Scott, what you’ve described illustrates that perfectly.
The one place where you can control the platform is on your own blog.
I have a long ways to go on this, but 50 high quality posts seems to be the bare minimum, and not many people have that much content.
But – we’ve all been given a gift; a rare opportunity.
This forum.
It’s early days, but I believe, as does Sean, that the scope for getting qualified and needy people to come to us for help here is huge – unfathomable.
That’s because he is a master of finding and attracting people like that, AND we’re making the rules.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I would like to be able to communicate directly with people.
Sometimes I feel that I can’t help people as much as I would like to because what I want to say might embarrass them in front of everyone else.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Claire: If you haven’t done so already, you should read Stephen Covey’s book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
The whole book is good, but the first part, where he talks about the Circles of Concern and Influence are the part that I think would help you the most.
What he says is that you get more of what you focus on.
If you focus on your limitations (Concern), then you’ll be able to do less. This is where most people live.
If, on the other hand, you focus on what you can do (Influence), then you’ll be able to do more.
As long as you focus on your fear of getting it wrong, you won’t be able to break out of that habit; and it is a habit.
I have many, many regrets, and it has taken a long time to heal.
I make no apologies for saying that it has been solely by the grace of God that I’ve gotten well.
But I can tell you that your mental health is in jeopardy if you don’t change the habit of dwelling on the past.
I’ve been there, done that, and have the whole closet. 😉
Write down what you can do and then dwell on it.
This will take practice, and you’ll be tempted to go back to your old habit.
But you must break free from it to make progress.
We’re all here to help you do that.
—-Bob: The feeling of being overwhelmed in a way is a good sign. It means that you’re starting to grasp the magnitude of what it takes to start and run a business.
You’re a teacher.
Which of your students learn the most?
Aren’t they the ones who at some point realize how little they know, or how much more they could learn?
The ones that don’t want to learn don’t see the point.
What do you tell your students who are suddenly struck by how much there is to learn, or what all the possible avenues there are?
Don’t you tell them to start where they are?
You might even recommend one or two things to get them started.
Now you need to apply the same approach to you.
I had a professor one time tell me that I couldn’t read everything. (Duh.)
I guess I was trying to.
Do this: Make an inventory of what you know already. Then identify the one thing that you think you need to know to take the next step.
It could well be that simply by getting what you know down on paper that it will become clear what you need to do next.
And that’s all you need to know.
The next step.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
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I love Yogi Berra’s wisdom, Norma.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Well said, Kristin!
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I imagine that Sean will roll-out that feature, Steve, when there are more people in the forum.
Before that can happen, however, we guinea have to help him work out the bugs. 😉
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I’m with you, Norma.
Every time I look at EverNote, I can’t understand why people like it so much. 😉
Maybe it’s like Marmite in the UK. 😉
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
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That’s really interesting, Steve.
On paper, I have a PhD in Organizational Psychology, but those who know me best would say that it was in overthinking and perfectionism. LOL
I’m lots better at “good enough” than I used to be, but it still feels like I’m cheating the customer when I submit a piece of writing that isn’t perfect, or at least perfect according to me.
Actually, that’s probably a significant observation.
What’s perfect to us is different from what is perfect to our clients.
By the way – I just noticed this: Go back into your profile and create the anchor code for the link in your signature. Then the URL will disappear and instead everyone will see the name of your website.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I watched the video on your blog.
You’ve put a lot of work into that planner.
Something I did notice right away was that very serious-looking digital piano in the background.
Do you play?
What kind of piano is it?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
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That’s the idea behind The Mindful Writer, Roger.
If people read the home page, or the About page, then this should make sense to them.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I’ve never been able to build a list; no matter what I did.
And now I’m coming across writers who market directly to their connections on LinkedIn, for example.
I have 4300+ connections on LinkedIn that I’ve never done anything with.
Having a list and marketing to them makes a lot of sense, and I’m not denying it’s importance. I’m simply asking if there’s another way since I’ve been unable to build one.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Nice to meet you, Steve.
My parents took us to Glacier National Park when I was in my teens.
The clue is in the name, though.
Must be pretty cold. 😉
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
That’s an understandable fear, Roger.
Thing is that you’re going to have to get used to it. LOL
You can’t know everything, for a start.
There’s something else, too.
I don’t know what causes it; only that it occurs.
If you just do what you know you need to do, then magically what you need to do next will become clear to you about the same time as you need to do it.
So instead of wondering what the answer is to the next question, implement the answers that you do have.
As you do that, you’ll begin to understand a bigger picture of what’s going on and will be able to see more clearly what you should do next.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Funny thing about entrepreneurialism, Remcy.
Even though you may change your mind about what to do, there’s something inside of you that won’t let you “throw in the towel” altogether.
The idea of doing so feels worse than trying to figure out how to make it work.
One thing you may want to think about is why no one has a program like yours on the Internet.
That may not be the easiest thing to figure out, but you could start by analyzing what is available to see what they have in common and what the differences are.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
The kind of list I was referring to, Don, was one that consisted of subscribers.
I should have clarified that.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Remember, Bob. Sean hasn’t yet unlocked all the functionality of this forum.
I’m in favor of using all of the features available as they “come online” so that I’m “up to speed” when additional things are added.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Bob, I’m curious.
Why do you spend so much time trying out different page builders?
Is that what you sell?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Some while ago, there was a book written entitled Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.
That pretty much sums it up.
If you go for comfort, you’ll only ever be average.
That’s why most people are.
It’s because they’re afraid to push outside their comfort zone.
If you want to be extraordinary, then get used to feeling some fear.
To look at this another way, recognize that when you feel afraid, that it’s possible that it’s because you’re doing the right thing.
It’s possible that you’re not, and you need to evaluate the facts as well as your motives to make sure that that’s not the case, but it’s also possible that you are; and you need to accept that, too.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
What I meant, Sean, is that I didn’t know if what I said was what I should say.
The signature is a kind of “resource box,” and I just wasn’t sure if what I said in it was good or not.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Bob, do you remember when the Internet was first made available for public use? It was the early 1990s.
I don’t recall when email became part of the mix, but I do remember the buzz that came with it.
A movie (I didn’t see it) was also made about it.
It was called You’ve Got Mail.
Why do you suppose that that title resonated with so many people?
Why would people be so excited that they got a message way back then?
It’s because it was evidence that someone “loved” them. (Tongue firmly planted in cheek.)
Now the thing is that that’s also true today.
The incessant desire to check your email reveals a need to see if you’re “loved.”
Why do I say that?
It’s because of the feeling that I’m pretty sure you experience when you don’t get anything.
You feel ignored.
And being ignored is the opposite of love.
So, what you have to do is separate those feelings. You have to teach yourself that the fact whether there is or isn’t another message has nothing to do with whether you’re loved or ignored.
You have to tell yourself that email is nothing more than a form of communication.
When someone has something to say to you, they will; but you have to teach yourself that when they don’t, that it’s not personal.
Another way to look at this is to think about how often you hear from close friends and relatives who don’t live with, or even near, you.
Does the fact that they’re not communicating with you every day mean that they don’t care about you?
No. It doesn’t.
They have their own lives and responsibilities.
And that’s how you have to look at your inbox.
People will email you when they need to.
I hope that this comment has been helpful to you. 🙂
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy1 user thanked author for this post.
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These are the little glimpses of your business that you give us from time to time, Sean.
Invaluable!
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Thanks, Sean.
Wasn’t sure if it was okay.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Bob, is there a reason why your name seems to be repeated? i.e. Bob Moore Moore
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Les, you “convert negative energy into positive drive” by changing your focus.
To extend the application of the car metaphor, it sounds like you want to go from full-on the gas to full-on the brakes.
All I’m saying is that you need to slow down a bit so you can see which way to go. Then make your turn and proceed a little slower.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I hadn’t even noticed the quote feature until you mentioned it, Suzanne.
I guess I’m programmed to think that when things are grayed-out like that, then the function doesn’t work. LOL
I should be more adventurous and just click the buttons. 😉
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Just finished doing this.
What a cool feature.
Use anchor text to put in a link to your site.
And after you save everything, it will change your signature block on all the posts you’ve done.
That means that if you decide to amend it again later, it will update everything forum-wide.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Couldn’t find anything like what you described.
Probably just me. 😉
I did find a place for the forum signature by going to Members, then clicking on my name.
By the way, when I click on my name in the Popular Users column, I get a page that says Nothing Found.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
No matter what platform you’re on, Les, your profile is critical.
It’s the first window that people have into who you are.
I get LinkedIn invitation almost every day.
You’d be amazed at the number of people whose profiles are incomplete.
No picture.
No description of what they’re doing, or one that’s so vague that it could be anything.
And some people won’t even disclose all of their name.
It’s just first name and an initial for their last name.
And then they tell me they want to be in my network.
Do you think I’m going to let them in?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
You need to make that clear somewhere on your home page, I think, Remcy.
The reason I say that is because it seems to feature as something that’s really important.
Thing is that even when you click on the H.A.C. link, you’re still not told what it means.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
In my case, Jan, I’d feel more accountable if someone actually asked me what I did, especially if I’d stated that I would do something.
The thing about a mastermind group is its intimacy.
When it’s small, people tend to be more open.
One reason is that they’re not having to read through the posts of 20 other people.
There’s only a handful of them, and so everyone can reveal more and more of themselves.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Scott, something to bear in mind about Napoleon Hill.
For him, thoughts were things.
We have to be careful that things don’t become our thoughts.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I agree with you, Sean, probably because you have taught it in the past. 😉
It’s easy to add a niche once you dominate the market in one.
That’s because you know how to do it.
Trying to dominate two or more simultaneously without knowing how to do it at all makes your job twice as hard; and if the goal is to have a successful online business, then why not make it as easy on yourself as you can?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
There’s a book that might help you.
I think Sean recommended it to me.
It’s called Start with Why by Simon Sinek.
If we get too caught up in what we’re doing and forget why, then we’ll lose our way.
That’s because when it gets hard, the effort will seem meaningless.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Diana,
One thing that I think will help you is if you identify in advance some small goals.
The stuff we all are working on is fairly long-term, and that makes progress harder to see.
It’s a bit like standing on the edge of a roaring river trying to figure out how to get across. Instead of trying to build a bridge, we need small stepping stones.
When you see yourself achieving small goals, then you’ll reach a point where the big goal doesn’t seem so far away.
And when that happens, you’ll have no trouble sticking with it.
Does that sound like something you could do?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Tina, I’ve mentioned this elsewhere in the forum, but it seems particularly relevant for you.
In business circles, there is what is called core business and non-core business.
Core business is what your clients pay you for.
Non-core business is everything else, e.g. overheads.
You need to focus on your core business and, from what you’ve said, that sounds very much to me like graphic designing.
It’s what you love, and it’s what your customers love about you.
If you have ideas for products, then it seems to me that you could outsource the creation of them – at least the initial stages – and then put the finishing touches on yourself.
And then, who knows? Maybe you’d make them available as an affiliate product, or put them on Udemy or something similar.
How does that sound to you?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
It’s not called work/life balance for nothing. 😉
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
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I could be wrong about this, Loreen, but my guess is that the people who are too “shy” to talk to Sean on a call probably won’t be interested in participating in a Skype group either.
The reason is that they lack the intrinsic motivation to do whatever is necessary.
I know that that sounds harsh, but as I’ve studied entrepreneurs I’ve noticed that the ones who get there in the end are tenacious in the extreme.
It’s only when they get desperate enough that they finally come out of their shell.
That said, if you can put together a group that benefits others, then I think you should.
You could do it right now. 😉
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Love your grammatical humor, Norma. 😉
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Hi Remcy.
What does H.A.C. mean?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
It’s a great theory, Les, about clearing a couple of shelves for the best stuff.
Years ago, we moved into a house that had been converted from a pub.
There was this room at the back that the landlord referred to as a games-room.
I converted it into a library: Pale green Farrow & Ball walls, seven bookcases around the outside of the room; three big filing cabinets; four large bookcases that each were about a meter wide and half a meter deep (screwed together back-to-back and side-by-side) which made a nice large flat place to work from; small fridge; wing-backed chair and drop-leaf table.
There were probably about 2000 books in it altogether.
I decided to put all the books that I used the most in the two meter high bookcase next to my desk.
That stack ended up being about four feet high!
So instead, I printed off the first two levels of the entire Dewey Decimal system, and organized the books that way. LOL
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I’ve probably done a certain amount of face-to-face coaching in an unofficial capacity.
I like working with individuals and small groups, so maybe there will be some scope for this in the future.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
There’s also a link to what is called a “cover page.” That’s the long banner that you see in Facebook profiles.
I encourage you to find a suitable picture to put in there, too. It really improves the appearance of your profile.
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
My little private joke, Norma, is that my handwriting is so bad that I had to get a PhD so that I’d have a reason. 😉
I can understand how if you can’t focus on what you’ve written that that could be a problem; but if you dictate into a machine and it doesn’t understand you correctly, don’t you have the same problem? Or can you make the font big enough to see it?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
Very good point, Sean.
Let me let you in on a little secret, Norma.
It took me five years of pretty close to full-time to write a book.
Now part of the reason was because I had to create a management history that didn’t exist, but in retrospect I can tell you that I spent a lot of time perfecting the grammar of every sentence and choosing every single word very carefully.
Maybe I could have shaved a year off by recognizing that good enough was good enough. 😉
I’ve had to wean myself away from those tendencies.
And Les – stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
Since you know that it makes you more likely to procrastinate, doesn’t it make sense to take your foot off the gas so you don’t swerve so much? LOL
We creative types will ALWAYS have some self-doubt.
Now that you know that, you can accept it and get to work.
Thoughts?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
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We’re all experts at something, Claire.
Quite often, however, someone else has to tell us what it is.
We’re usually looking somewhere else. 😉
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy -
I’m puzzled.
If we can’t reply directly to someone who has made a comment now, and I know that that’s the case, then what’s the purpose of the REPLY link that is to the right of every post that people make now?
If you look on the top right of a given post, it will say something like REPLY #1111. If you click on REPLY, your comment ends up at the bottom of the page.
Is it intended just to make it faster to get there?
Bruce Hoag PhD
The Internet Marketing Psychologist
The Mindful Writer - for deep and persuasive copy
